Felmar’s World of Anecdotes

i am to ready to die tomorrow.

isn’t it in dying that we become more alive?

Paul and His Sparks of Faith

this night, i remember Paul. He was our classmate in the Novitiate. i used to remember him as someone who cracked jokes while chopping the logs for the kitchen without any complain. he was a hard working man and his laughter had always been contagious.

after our novitiate, he stayed in calapan for six months. after december, he left for Papua New Guinea to continue his studies there.

until one day, he just woke up and noticed everything was in total darkness. he could no longer see. he became blind!

he was sent to the philippines and he stayed for six months, instead of the planned three months. it seemed hopeless. it was really a case of hoping against hope…the once cheerful classmate of mine became a groping young man in his isolated room in the villa cristo rey. he could no longer see the ice cream that he is to eat. he could no longer read the inspiring text messages. he could no longer see how i smile at him when he performs belly dancing! oh my God, what a life!

seeing him in that condition worries me a lot. what will happen to him? will he be returned to his family? will the svd take care of him?

"dont worry brother," he told me. "i will be alright. i can no longer see but still in my heart, i see sparks of faith and that’s more than enough to make me see that God loves me. The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Blessed be the Lord."

Ah! that was beautiful…!

one day, i visited him in the villa cristo rey. i told him that we will be having the family feast and there are many activities. i cracked a joke that "bunong braso" would be one of the games. his face lightened. he remembered very well how he won that game when we were novices and now, he wanted to participate in our family feast and to volunteer in his team to be the candidate for the "bunong braso."

so, he told me that he would be going to Papua New Guinea only after the Family Feast. he was so excited to join the "bunong braso"!

then, one day, i received a text, he is leaving earlier than expected. i immediately went to him and he told me he has to begin studying in the school for the blind in papua new guinea. classes are starting and he has to contextualize his studies.

Just after our Family Feast kick-off, i helped him pack his things. that was a very moving sight for us. the feeling of pain of separation was too much for us to bear. i held his hand and told him, "paul, i am praying for you…"

"thank you brother," he responded.

that was the last time. i am not certain if we ever see each other again. i miss him and how i wish he could see once again..

i remember paul and his sparks of faith…

God bless him.

fiel, svd